The Two Loves—Dana Trick
The Two Loves
(Trigger Warnings: abusive relationships, sexual assault (which isn't vividly described), pressure into forced sex, and some prejudice against genderfuildity.
There are always people who desired control over many things and would go to great lengths and means to achieve this. These actions have varying degrees of success for each person, but every now and again one would attract the attention of the Being of Power, who was a hopeless lover.
Once enamored with an individual, Power would have no choice but to confess their love to them, promising them that they would assist them in whatever goal and task they had, in exchange for giving Power a token of affection—humble things like a kiss, a flower, a song, or a piece of jewelry, —and for allowing Power to stay by their side. Power would stay with them until their death or the lover simply ending the relationship. But once they’d parted ways, Power’s body would erupt in deep cuts, tender bruises, and broken bones to reflect their broken heart. Power would leave for the Beyond Realm where they would dress their wounds and heal until they discover a new lover below.
Power’s tendency to give love so recklessly and so devotedly has greatly influenced the course of human events. Some argue that Power’s love isn’t human love—that it is simply a compulsion of fate that comes when the presence and influence of a certain individual is so great. Some argue that Power doesn’t have love and that they are simply showing favoritism towards a certain individual on a whim, a gamble, or entertainment.
One day in a small kingdom long ago, Power fell in love with a low noble who displayed enduring charisma, vast intellect, and superb skills in every circle he was in. He was a popular underdog, and the spiteful higher-class nobles often set impossible obstacles in front of him to prevent him gaining more influence, but it was all in vain. So smitten was Power that they wasted no time appearing before the noble during one of his evening strolls in the forest near his manor.
In their male form, his bright purple eyes sparkling with joy and his midnight body shivering with excitement, Power proclaimed to the startled noble, “My lord, your determination and skills are too alluring for me to ignore! You have become my heartbeat! I’ll grant any wish you have! I only ask that you accept my love and let me stay by your side until we part ways!”
The noble took some time processing this and when he did, he simply answered with a polite, “No, thank you,” before resuming his stroll.
Power was paralyzed by the noble’s casual rejection and didn’t move from his spot for the rest of the night and most of the following day until the young noble returned for his evening walk. It goes without saying that they were both startled.
“Oh great Being, why are you still here?” asked the noble.
“Well, nobody ever actually rejected my confession!” said Power, his heart fluttering so rapidly, “I never experienced rejection before!”
“Well, I’ve been confessed to before by a divine Being and I didn’t know how to react probably,” groaned the noble, “This is a first time for me too!”
“I’m sorry for startling you so much! But you startled me first!”
“Really? First confess love then fling blame to the victim. How two-faced you are! Wonder how you caught so many lovers before.”
“My previous lovers were kind and gracious enough to accept my confession first and let me stay by their side! And I’m always loyal and thoughtful to my dearest lovers! Ask any of them!”
“I haven’t met any of them—they’re probably dead or far away!”
Power angrily scoffed and turned his back on the noble. The noble, in turn, sat on a nearby rock and let out an exhausted sigh.
“I apologize for my . . . improper behavior,” he said, “I know I said this before, but it’s my first time…”
Power struggled to stay silent. “I guess my confessions . . . are unusually sudden and surprising to anyone. . . I too must apologize for improper behavior. Um, shall we start over?”
“I’ll still say no to if you’re going to confess to me again.”
“Why?!”
“I don’t want a lover—I simply want a friend who understands me.”
”Oh,” was all Power could say. A bird chirped and flew away, a spider caught a ladybug, and the wind blew some leaves from their trees. “Can I be your friend?”
“Is that another attempt at confession?”
“No, I will respect your rejection. You greatly interest me, and I want to be close to whatever happens to you.”
“That sounds agreeable. Shall we meet here tomorrow, same time?”
“How about we introduce ourselves to each other right now? We should at least know each other’s favorite food!”
With an embarrassed laugh, the young noble happily introduced himself to the Being.
It soon became a daily occurrence for the two of them. Every evening the two would meet in the forest and chat about whatever is on their minds. Well, the young noble would talk the most with tales of political drama and whimsical dreams while the only words Power said were “Oh dear,” or “Is that so?” He didn’t care that he didn’t have anything worthwhile to contribute; the way the sunset lights the young noble’s face as he talked always took Power’s breath away. Sometimes, whenever the young noble confessed a stubborn obstacle or a persistent trouble, Power would ask him if there was anything he could do to help him only for the young noble to refuse it each time for he couldn’t bear to ask a favor from a close and precious friend. Those words always made Power’s heart yearn harder.
One evening, the young noble didn’t show up for their meeting and Power stressed and worried but could only wait. When the next evening came, the noble arrived exhausted and moody. Power gently asked, “What is wrong, my dearest friend?”
The young noble ignored him and just stared angrily at nothing. Power didn’t say anything else and patiently waited for him to calm down. But he didn’t calm down, he broke down.
“Damnit, damnit, damnit!” sobbed the young noble to the violet sky, “How did this happen to me? I did everything right but I’m the fool, the villain?” He began pounding hard on the stone he always sat until Power had to grab his hands.
“My dearest friend, please, tell me what ails you,” asked Power.
The young noble took shuddering breaths before uttering, “Everything is wrong. Everything is gone, gone, stolen. My enemies have created a dastardly genius scheme to rip me away from my standing, my wealth, my achievements, my rights, my reputation, my destiny. Any damage control I make is easily swept away by their influence. I try everything and am rewarded with misery and punishment I do not deserve! There is only doom in store for me…”
He sobbed into Power’s shoulders until his eyes couldn’t produce anymore tears. Power held his friend gently and lovingly as he could while the noble cursed his misfortune to the wind and sky. When the noble stopped crying, Power finally decided.
“My friend, your woes torment me so,” Power said, “I cannot leave you alone in this catastrophe. There is salvation through me. Accept my confession, promise you’ll let me stay by your side, give me a token of your love—and everything you want shall be yours!”
The young noble turned his puffy face away from his friend to contemplate. A few minutes later he said, “Normally, I would refuse but these circumstances force me to make an uncomfortable choice. Oh, great Being of Power, I humbly accept your love!”
“Thank you. I won’t let you down. For everything to work, you must give me a token of affection—it could be a flower, a song, a little bracelet. . .”
The young noble stared at his hands, “Oh, dearest friend, I have no means to afford a great gift equal to yours. I only have my body. . .”
“Oh, you could give me a little kiss!”
“No, that isn’t enough,” the young noble swallowed, “We must make love to each other.”
It took a long moment for Power to understand what his lover was saying. “Oh, you mean sex. . .” Power have heard of sex through his sibling Passion but the act of it did not enthrall him.
“You could give me a little kiss,” Power repeated.
“No, no, no, you don’t understand!” the young noble cried, “A mere kiss cannot match its worth to the salvation you’re giving me! Only the act of flesh could suffice!”
“You could take a piece of this rock we always sit on and give it to me—nothing could be more precious than that.”
“Even stones and the earth cannot beat time. The memory of the ecstasy that love-making can bring is eternal!”
It went on for ages—Power suggesting alternatives to sex as a token and the young noble refusing each one and arguing harder for sex. Eventually, the young noble’s desperation wore down Power enough for him to agree on having sex. The act was painful for Power and the young noble seemed to enjoy it more than the Being.
With that act, the young noble’s luck drastically changed. In addition to effortlessly regaining his former status and wealth, he gained more political clout in the royal court and in public. It wasn’t long for the young noble’s words to hold more sway than the king—a situation that the king and his supporters didn’t like. They attempted to rip away his newfound power but those acts only strengthened the noble’s public image for the lower classes from the simple farmer to the rich merchant. Soon the drama of the political court bleed into the sphere of common society. All types of relationships were either made or broken depending on whether one supported the young noble or his enemies. The animosity grew grotesquely for five hard years, then erupted in a bloody civil war.
During these early years, the young noble and Power stayed by each other’s side but only when they were in his manor. The young noble explained that his enemies might capture and hurt Power if they were seen in public together.
“I can fight for myself,” Power would always tell him.
“The appearance of you after my sudden change in fate? My enemies could take advantage of that—they could conjure and tell falsehoods of me and you as fact and ruin everything we built. And if they knew how precious you are to me—ah, I can’t bear even thinking about it!” The young noble would always cry on Power’s shoulder. Touched by his concern, Power allowed himself to remain in the manor while his love ventured into the outside world to fight his own battles, eagerly waiting for his love to return each day.
During the civil war, however, the young noble rarely visited and when he did visit, he would always promise that he would try harder to achieve his goal quicker so they would spend more time together. Sometimes, he would convince Power to have sex with him again and Power always obliged in hopes that it would make his lover stay with him longer—even if the act hurt him so much.
When the young noble emerged victorious at the war’s end as king, he returned to Power, and they spent some time together as he rebuilt and strengthened his new kingdom. He even rebuilt his manor into a fine castle with a section specifically made for Power—a high tower facing the nearby forest, filled with the most beautiful of paintings and gardens. But it had been barely fifteen years when circumstance forced the king to settle negotiations and wage war in lands far away.
“I’ll wait for you,” promised Power tearfully the night before the king went to his first diplomatic mission.
“I’ll swear I’ll be back soon,” promised the king, “We shall make this tiny kingdom into a great empire that will go on for ages.”
Power distracted himself by having strolls in the gardens and forest, enjoying the rich collections of paintings in the galleries and the books in the library, conversing with the servants and guards in the tower, and lingered on the memories of him and the king. When the king returned, Power told him everything he did while he was gone. Though the king smiled as he talked, he suggested that Power wouldn’t be so friendly with the staff from now on.
“Why,” Power asked.
“The servants might become jealous the more you talk to them,” he said, “They’ll try anything to get you away from me.”
“Oh, they won’t and I’m too much in love with you to be seduced by someone else!”
“I know but . . . just stop talking to the servants. . . They are not worth your breath. It is beneath a Being such as yourself. You should only converse with great leaders such as myself!”
The words stung but Power perceived them as the king’s concern and let them go. However, when the king was sent out again to quell a rebellion in the south a month later, Power tried to converse with the servants and guards but was met with polite distance. Power was unnerved by this and became lonely in his lover’s tower. He ecstatically welcomed the king when he returned and when he told him about the servants’ sudden distance, all the king said was, “I told you so.”
The next time the king left for war with a neighboring kingdom, he informed Power that he shouldn’t roam outside to prevent himself from being captured and held for ransom—a situation the king couldn’t risk because, “I can’t choose between you and my dream; it’ll tear me apart!” Again, Power reminded him that he could defend himself but promised that he’d stay far away from the forest. Nonetheless, Power didn’t have the chance to even consider breaking the promise because the enemy had immediately surrounded the castle and the capital within days of the king’s departure. Using his abilities, Power was able to protect the tower and its inhabitants from enemies’ attacks. In contrast, it took the king and his forces three weeks to retake the capital and the castle, a process that gravely but not fatally injured the king.
When Power held the king in his arms, the first thing the king said was, “You broke our promise to stay inside the castle while I’m gone, didn’t you?”
“No, I did not,” assured Power, “Before the siege, I stayed inside the tower at all times, but I did take a stroll through the gardens the day after you left.”
“That must’ve been it! It’s still your act!”
“No, darling, I kept my promise. This was just simple bad luck! It happens to all of us, even Beings like me.”
“Bad luck never follows you, my dear, unless you want it to. Promises are powerful things and breaking one is enough to bring misfortune to all—the oath-makers, the oath-breakers, and bystanders. Even if you didn’t mean to, the tower’s gardens are a part of the outside and by frolicking so carefree in them, you bought this misery to our paradise. See how many soldiers I’ve lost to your carelessness! See how many families you’ve ruined! See how many lovers you’ve separated forever!”
“I-I’m sorry. I promise I won’t do it again.”
For three months, the king had to stay in the castle to heal but still controlled his military from his bedside through message-birds. Power took great care in treating his wounds and fevers, even though sometimes the king would scowl venously at him and mutter “This is all your fault,” or “If I lose this war. . .” Power convinced himself that those words only came from pain, not sincerity.
One day, Power turned into her female form for she had tired of her male form, but when the king saw her form, he shrieked and called for the guards to drive out the intruder. Power quickly turned back to his male form to calm down the king but not before he slapped Power so hard that he fell to the floor. When the king realized what had happened, he cried, “I’m so sorry, my jewel, I did not recognize you in that disguise! I thought someone was stealing your fine clothes and jewelry that I bought just for you. I was just so surprised, that’s all! I love you so much that I couldn’t bear to hurt you but the fact I did in a moment of panic. . . Oh, how can I ever live with myself?”
Cradling his bruised cheek, Power gently said, “It’s okay, my heart. Seeing in my other form surely surprises anyone. I should have informed you before I did it. My only excuse is that I had been in my male form for so long that I needed to be female for a while. I’m sorry that I scared you so much. I’ll remain in my male form until you get better.”
“Don’t ever change into that form!” cried the king, “I only see you as male, never female or other! I can barely handle being to recognize you in that form! And the knowledge that you can be that while I’m gone feels like a betrayal.”
“No, no, no, no, it’s not a betrayal, it’s a part of who I am,” injected Power hurriedly, “If it makes you feel better, I’ll remain in my male form for as long as we’re together.” The king gave Power his warmest smile.
When the king healed and left with his soldiers, Power kept his promise and stayed inside the tower, barely speaking to the servants, never going outside, never changing forms. That war dragged on for years as more kingdoms were dragged into through treaties and broken boundaries. The king never visited Power once during those years. These absences pained Power and all he could do was worry about his love. These absences caused Power to think that it was his fault that the war became this large. Soon Power spent his days alone in his room, abandoning the libraries and paintings and gardens and the world. Soon Power closed the blinds on the room’s giant window and waited for his love in the darkness.
It took twenty years for the giant war to end, with favorable conditions for the king. Power had never rejoiced so much the day the king returned older and scared but very much full of pride and wealth. He wept into the king’s arms while whimpering, “I missed you. I love you. I missed you so much. I love you, I love you.”
“I missed you too, my jewel,” chuckled the king, “Through the years were long and hard, it is all worth it. I left here a king and now return an emperor! It was your love that achieved this miracle. I couldn’t have done this without you!”
“I stayed inside, like you promised,” Power added, his eyes sparkling, “I didn’t step an inch outside.”
“That’s so good, my jewel. Everything will be alright now that all the threats are gone and stability assured. Now, we have all the time in the world to be with each other.”
But it was barely a month before the emperor was caught up with all manner of things—overseeing royal decrees and laws, monitoring diplomatic trade agreements, rewarding loyal followers, punishing potential usurpers, supporting the most skilled artists and artisans, planning harvests and irrigation, and studying new ways of warfare. All the emperor’s time was shared with consultants, merchants, officers, clergy, nobles, and anyone who wasn’t Power—who spent most of his waiting in his lonely dark room in the tower for his love, whose visits comes occasionally but always demands sex first before small chats, evening walks, and sweet snacks. Power didn’t complain because he convinced himself his love had to do all this work because he is so detail orientated and preferred to do it himself even when he has hundreds of capable consultants. Power continued loving him even when he married a princess to strengthen diplomatic ties and political certainty. Power kept him in his dreams and thoughts even when it seemed like the emperor had completely forgotten about him.
It all changed during one of the emperor’s visits to the tower. Being lonely for so long made Power so happy to see his love that he agreed to have sex without hesitation, but before they could get onto the bed dark cracks appeared all over Power’s body, scaring the emperor so much that he fled the room immediately, leaving Power alone again. He only returned days later, only to ask poor Power, “What happened? What are those cracks? Did you cause them? Why did you do it? Why haven’t you fixed yourself already? Are you doing this to spite me? You know I had to work!”
“I-I don’t know, my heart,” whimpered Power, “I don’t know anything about this except that they hurt, they hurt so much.”
The emperor summoned all the empire’s best healers, shamans, sorcerers, fairies, demons, angels, and spirits to cure Power of the cracks, but they all failed pathetically. The lucky ones were tortured first before being sent home. Though Power was in constant pain, the fact that the emperor stayed by his side constantly through all of this made Power happy. Yet even that was short-lived because the emperor only cared (and preferred) about Power’s previous perfection that he left the tower for other lands outside his empire, either to bargain with them or invade them and collect all their healers—though the results were still the same. Once his lover was gone, Power immediately fell into a slumber of pain that one rarely wakes up.
It wasn’t until the empire invaded the land of Egypt that the empire found a healer named Femi who was said to be able to heal gods. Upon having the healer thrown at his feet, the empire ominously told her, “I will let your homeland go if you obey my only order: heal my nephew. If you fail, I will continue my campaign and I will see to it personally that I will drag every family and friend you have—and slaughter them before your eyes.”
Femi could only whimper, “I swear,” as her body trembled.
Once in Power’s tower, she immediately started her treatments, never leaving Power’s room by decree of the emperor, even for bathing and eating. She used every medicine, every remedy, every cure, every enchantment, every sacred ritual, and every prayer she knew but nothing changed during the entire month she was there. She didn’t know what else to do, and the pressure of the empire’s threat forced her to pathetically continue in vain. It became too much for her that one day she abruptly wept over Power’s prone and cracked body. She tried her best to keep her cries quiet so the guards stationed wouldn’t hear, but her tears woke Power from his slumber.
“Dear lady,” Power quietly asked, “Why are you weeping?”
Femi couldn’t stop her tears, but managed to say, “My heart is broken in so many pieces... I miss my home, my family, my friends, my fellow healers, and my patients. And the fact that I cannot cure whatever you have . . . I can’t . . . it hurts . . . and I can’t—I can’t do anything; I don’t know anything. Gods, I can’t—!”
Her words stirred Power’s heart and he could help but reach out his cracked hand and cradle Femi’s head. “Cry it all out,” he said gently, “Cry it all out.”
So, Femi did, the tears long withheld flowing like rainfall in drought-plagued land. The gentle chill of her tears was enough to bring Power to tears as well. They both cried long into the night until they fell asleep on each other’s shoulders. The next morning, the two of them awoke to find the cracks on Power’s body to lessen, some even closed into thin strands of black. Ecstatic, Femi told the guards who sent the happy message to the emperor, who was pleased but not overjoyed. He sent a message demanding more progress.
As it appeared to be the most effective, Femi started to make Power cry through reciting every sad song and tragic tale she knew, but they didn’t have the same effects besides only keeping new cracks from appearing. Nonetheless, she felt uncomfortable that the only effective treatment was sobbing and soon sought other methods. Unlike before, Power was able to communicate, which would’ve been a great help for Femi . . . if he was willing to talk to her. He just either sat near the fireplace or slumbered deeply in his bed, always wearing the most heartbroken expression.
Femi was initially patient with this, but as weeks turned into months, Femi could barely control her impatience in a dark room with a silent sad boy. Like before, it became too much for her one day and she ripped opened the blinds to let loose beautiful sunlight into the room. The little joy she felt in the warmth was interrupted by a scream—“Close it! Close it! Close it!”
Femi turned to see Power, who was previously hiding under his cover, leaped from his bed and shambled towards the blinding window.
“No, I hate being in this damn dark room and I miss the sun!” Femi yelled before she could stop it.
“Close the damn door! I can’t bear to look at the forest and anyone with foul intentions can come through the window and take me!” Power shrieked.
“No one's gonna risk their lives climbing this dangerous tower to get a sad boy! And the sight of a forest isn’t gonna kill you!”
“Opening it is too dangerous! My beloved warned me of the dangers, and I can’t bear to inflict more pain on him!” Power made to grab the curtains, but Femi grabbed his arms and carefully pushed him towards the nearest chair.
“Well, I don’t think that a simple open window will be enough to kill you,” Femi angrily retorted, “And where is your lover? Shall I summon him and punish him for his negligence and paranoia?!
“Even if you could, he will never come for he is building his dream. My love for him is keeping him strong but I must stay for my own protection, even if it means rarely seeing him.”
“Why would any lover abandon his love for such a dream when said dream brings so much pain and distrust?”
“It’s to keep us together! He’s suffering so much for us and I must bear my suffering with no compliant!”
“That’s no excuse to hide from a beautiful day,” Femi said in a gentler tone, “I’m sure your beloved would never want to put you in so much unhappiness.”
“I can only be happy with my lover. Without him, everything would be cold. . .”
“You mustn’t place so much happiness on one person. A person’s happiness is many things besides a lover—their friends, their family, their hobbies, their passions, their favorite things...”
“This isn’t your pain! Why are you putting yourself so much in my life?!”
“I am your doctor! Caring too much is a symptom of being a doctor!”
Power was stunned into silence. Then he started to giggle. Which caused Femi to giggle. Which caused Power to laugh and that made Femi laugh. They laughed for a long time, long enough for the sun to set in beautiful hues.
Femi was the first to say, “I’m sorry for yelling. I just really need to heal you so I can go home. Your uncle won’t let me go.”
“My uncle . . . yes, he cares about me a lot.”
“I’m pretty sure that your lover cares a lot too . . . but, seriously, where is he? He should’ve been with you during all of this.”
“He’s . . . with my . . . Uncle,” Power wanted to vomit the truth but withheld it instinctively, “He is his guardsman. His duties make it hard to be around enough for the both of us.” Power slumped against the chair. Femi held his cracked hand.
“Okay, I understand this a bit better,” Femi said, “Your condition is purely of the mind—a realm foreign to me. I can only do my best.”
“How?”
“As I said before, your entire happiness is tied to one person—your lover. The crying might’ve helped but it was only the beginning. We need to find you other things to find joy in,” just as Femi said the words, her stomach unleashed a ravenous growl. She chuckled then said, “Let’s start by making your favorite food? What’s your favorite food?”
“All my favorite foods are also my beloved’s favorites. I can’t bear to eat them without him,” whinnied Power.
Femi just signed and simply said, “How about we find you a new favorite food? Have you tried kamounia before? It’s delicious!”
“I refuse to even try anything if my beloved isn’t here to try it with me.”
“Oh, gods and spirits help me.” With a sigh, Femi headed towards the door to ask the guards for ingredients and some utensils. Once she had them, she immediately began cooking in the fireplace.
At first, Power refused to involve himself in the cooking, stubbornly hiding under his bed-covers—but the stew’s growing aroma quickly flooded the room and awakened his long slumbering stomach. When it became too unbearable, Power reluctantly dragged himself towards the fireplace and Femi.
“Just in time,” she said as she handed Power a steaming bowl, “It’s not as good as my Abba’s but I’m pretty sure it’s edible.”
As Femi enthusiastically ate, Power just started at his bowl, his resolve to not eat the dish lasting only for half a minute. When he took a bite, sweet and warm memories came flooding back: The serenity of the Nile at sunset, the music of his lover’s laughter, the warmth of their hands against the chilly air. He barely noticed the tears, he only cared for the stew. Femi noticed the tears. She only handed him a napkin. They didn’t notice that some of the cracks disappeared until Power asked for a second serving.
The stew lasted for four days, but no more cracks had been sealed since then. Femi tried her best to socialize with her patient, but Power only became more sullen and more silent, the only few words he uttered to her was, “I don’t want to talk to you. I want to hear my lover’s voice.” The two did come to a compromise with the window, with Femi being allowed to open it only when the sunlight came to her section of the room. It was the most miserable company.
Femi attempted to remake her dishes from her homeland with the foreign ingredients of the Empire, allowing her to return home in some form for a short while, but each meal tasted like it was a shallow imitation of something good at best or a horrible hollow reminder that she’s not home anymore. A few weeks after the stew-making, Femi once again tried to have a conversation with Power with no results, Femi leaned against the open window and stared at the forest. She let out a sign and muttered, “I miss my river, the plants, the flowers, even the smelly fish…”
“The river is beautiful,” said Power, shocking Femi into almost falling through the window.
“Ye—wait, what?”
“The Nile is beautiful in the spring,” Power said, rising from his bed.
“Have . . . you been to my homeland before? I thought that you just . . . no, no, sorry, that was wrong of me to say.”
“I saw the Nile a couple of times, each at different seasons,” Power answered, stopping on the edge of the curtain’s shadow, “Before I meet my lover…”
“What were your favorite plants that grow near the river?” Femi excitedly asked, “Mine are the lotus and chrysanthemums and the papyrus too though a lot of my friends teased me for it.”
“Yes, the papyrus is a strange plant to fawn over,” he retorted in monotone.
“Ay, the papyrus is the most underrated plant to sing praises for! We make our papers from papyrus, and with those papers we put everything on there, from recipes to secrets to doodles and artworks and love songs and love letters! It’s so amazing!”
“I don’t love plants because they’re useful for physical needs. I like them because they exist.”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s beauty in no purpose and in no usage. Everyone is convinced that we have a fate to fulfill, but it’s all our motivation and inspiration that makes our lives a story to tell. We don’t have to do anything, but something moves us to do everything we want and sometimes that something is the will to exist. At least, that’s what my sister says.”
“You have a sister?”
“Multiple siblings. All varying levels of annoyance.”
“Hah, there’s no such thing as an un-annoying sibling. I completely understand. My sisters are the spawn of chaos.”
“Mine will make you go mad if you stare at them in the wrong way for too long. If you’re lucky.”
“Ha, I understand. Though . . . now the funny thing is that I really miss their annoying selves… I wonder what they’re doing…”
“Mine are doing whatever they want, like me. I know some of what they’re doing but we do respect each other enough to not get in each other’s way.”
“Do you miss them?”
“We’re too invested with our own dramas to call each other.”
“Do you worry about them sometimes?”
“No, we all can manage ourselves. Why are you asking all of this?”
“Because . . . well, I’m lonely, I miss having conversations with people, I’m your doctor and you’re my patient but I barely know you enough to treat you better.”
Power didn’t say anything.
Then he said, “There’s a garden down below that houses every plant, including papyrus. You should go there whenever you’re bored of me.”
Femi groaned, “I’m ordered to never leave this room until you’re all better. Believe me, I’ve tried to leave this room so many damn times, but the guards won’t let me.”
Power grimaced and grunted, “They shouldn’t do that. I’ll go talk to them.” He headed confidently towards the door but once he laid his hand on the handle, he crumpled hard to the floor, repeatedly weeping, “Can’t leave. Can’t leave. Can’t leave.”
Femi rushed to his side and calmly held his hand. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Just breathe. Just breathe.”
It took a while for Power to regain his breath and when he did, he just said, “I can’t open the doors. It’s dangerous, too risky—f-for me...”
Femi gave him a tired smile. “It’s okay. We’ll just not do it today. Only when you’re comfortable.”
“No, no, I’m fine with being in this room. B-but you should go, you need it more than I do.”
“You need it just as bad as me, I believe. But we can only do it when you’re comfortable with leaving your room. We’ll work on this for now.”
“You need it more than me. How about you open the door and I’ll order the guard to let you into the garden.”
“Are you sure? I ca—”
“Yes. Please do.”
Femi opened the doors and barely took a step out before the guardsmen appeared and tried to shove her back into the room. She obviously pushed back. Power crawled to her side and strained to order them to escort Femi to the garden in a regal voice. But the guards kept repeating, “You are to remain in this room until you’ve cured the resident, by the order of the Great Emperor.”
“She just needs herbs for medicines,” Power argued.
“A servant will gather them for her,” they responded.
“It’s for my health, and I can’t heal him when I’m ill!” Femi retorted.
“The Great Emperor ordered you to cure the resident or die trying,” they responded.
“Going out for a stroll in the tower garden will heal me. The doctor says so,” injected Power.
“You must remain in this room.” And the guards started pushing her.
Though Femi shoved against the muscled guards, they effortlessly forced her inside the room and slammed the doors shut. Power trembled with shame and rage, the emotions tasting bitter and sour.
“I-I’m sorry,” he began.
Femi sighed then announced, “Well, I guess we’ll have to sneak out to see this garden of yours.”
“What?”
“We’ll have to sneak out. There’s a trapdoor in this room where the servants use to place and gather your meals and laundry. It’s big enough for a person to slide through on their belly and hopefully it’ll be close to the garden to take a quick stroll. Of course, we may have to do it during the night. Of course, we might have to borrow some candles and matches. Having light from the full moon might be helpful though there is a high risk of being caught. . .”
Power could only stare in awe at Femi as she continued to muse plans under her breath. Intense waves of envy and admiration flowed through his body, thunderous heartbeats roared through his chest. He stared at her feminine form and wished he could have a small portion of her strength.
“Well, there’s also the fact that you’re still extremely uncomfortable leaving this room so we’ll hold off our garden stroll until you—AAAHWHAHAPPINED?!” Femi yelped in surprise.
“What do you mean?” shrieked Power.
“Ah, uh, um, well, well, don’t freak out, but you were a man when I looked away and when I looked back you became a woman.”
“What do you mean?” Power asking, looking down and recognized her female form.
“Oh gods and spirits, is this another symptom? This truly is so strange! Ah, what to do?” said Femi in a panic.
“Wait, wait! I do this. Well, I haven’t done it in a while, but this is totally normal for me!” said Power in warbling high-pitched tones, “Don’t worry, I-I change back.”
“So you can change forms,” she said.
“I-I change back, I can change back, I can change back,” repeated Power but no matter how much willpower she put in, she couldn’t return to her male form. She started to cry.
“There, there,” Femi calmly said, “It’s okay, it’s okay. How long have you been in your male form?”
“S-since I met my lover. He doesn’t like my female form, so I never changed. I will change back, please be patient,” Power blurted. Femi nodded and remained silent for some time to contemplate.
“Your cracks are truly wounds of the mind,” Femi announced, “Maybe this change is good.”
“Good?” Power croaked, “I can’t change back! This is horrible! My lover will say I've betrayed him!”
“But he isn’t here right now to be mad at you,” she countered, “And look at your body once more, more cracks are sealed up. That’ll make him happy, I know so.”
Power did indeed look and saw that every single crack had been closed into thin tiny lines. “But they still remain,” Power murmured, pointing out the array of jagged lines all over her body.
“The difference between this and the other two times you’ve cried is that only a couple of cracks sealed up—like around five or six out of . . . what seems to be a hundred. But this time, every crack is completely sealed. Perhaps. . . Did you miss being a girl?”
Power scowled and looked away from Femi. She didn’t say anything for some time before hoarsely whispering, “Sometimes.”
“Okay, I see,” Femi continued, letting her theory simmer, “From what I’ve gathered so far, the solution is simple—we can heal your cracks by having your return to things you enjoyed on your own before you met your lover.”
“Why did you say that last part so accusatory?” Power asked with a venomous voice.
“I am stating my observations and I am sorry that I hurt you with them,” Femi gently said, “This will be painful and long, but you will get better, this I swear.”
“Starting with the garden stroll, I guess?”
“If it is your choice, then yes.”
“Why do you keep helping me, after all the misery I caused?” asked Power.
“I told you before—it’s a symptom of being a doctor.”
“That sentence doesn’t make me laugh,” she said before laughing.
For the next few weeks, Power worked through various exercises that had her remember the various times she spent outside. Sometimes it was easy, sometimes it was happy, sometimes it was painful. Meanwhile, Femi gathered essential information and materials from the servants through long engaging conversations—mainly about Femi’s homeland which she was happy to oblige. Often the guards became suspicious of these chats and demanded to know what they were talking about as well as ordering them to stop at once. This only prompted Femi to reply, “Well, I’m under orders to not leave this room with my patient unhealed and I’m simply informing these fine workers of the things I need for my treatments. Didn’t you say that I can call on them to get herbs and other things? So, please don’t exert so much worry over harmless little me. With the stakes I have, why would I take such a risk?”
“I’m terribly shocked that you’ve gathered so much stuff in such a few days,” commented Power as the two ate their dinner, “I didn’t know you were that charismatic.”
“O-oh I’m not,” Femi squeaked, “They just like my stew. Food is more charismatic than me.”
“A dish is just as delicious as its cook,” Power said before she could stop herself.
“Oh, I do try my best—it’s up to others to like me for myself,” Femi said.
When Power felt confident with opening a door, the duo enacted their plan. When the evening shift came with their dinner, Femi and Power switched clothes with the maids and exited out the room in their stead. Femi guided Power towards the servant entrance and waited for Power to do the honors herself, but she only trembled and took heavy breaths.
“Is it too much to ask you to open the door?” she whimpered.
“If that is what you wish, yes,” answered Femi.
Power swallowed, then signed, “No. I want this with no burdens.” She grabbed the handle and struggled to pull the door open. Femi held her other hand and squeezed gently.
The candlelight in the hallway was dim but to Power they were bright suns. She took each step carefully, thankful that the plan required her to deeply bow her head. Once they were off the floor, it was Power’s turn to guide Femi towards the garden. An hour had passed when the two finally reached the garden.
Femi loved the chaotic mosaic of petals and leaves, their scents and their colors illuminated by pale bright moonlight. She carefully caressed and cradled each blossom with such joy and reverence that Power didn’t have it in her to intrude. When the moon reached the sky, Femi started to hum a song and then began dancing. Power absentmindedly joined in, and they danced in the moonlight. They most likely wouldn’t have left if it wasn’t until they heard the alarm horn going off that they left. They’d managed to get to the room, change clothes, and hide the maids before the guards rushed in with their weapons. Power managed to convince the guards they were in the room all night and that the guards were just overstressed from their duties. “You should rest,” said Power, struggling to maintain her male voice, “You keep imagining dangers that aren’t there.”
“We have orders,” the guards said, “If that healer leaves the room, she’s to be punished.”
“She doesn’t deserve punishment when all she does is work,” Power clarified, “I’m doing better under her care than all the previous healers before, right? The Emperor can’t risk any setbacks now, doesn’t he? How would he react if you two severely hurt the healer to the point she can no longer heal me anymore?”
The guards said nothing and left. Then the hidden maids leap from their hiding place and chastised the two before leaving. Once all were gone, both Power and Femi fell onto the bed totally exhausted.
“I did need that,” Power said, “I never realized how I missed the outdoors. Oh, well, the outside of this room to be specific. And honest.”
“You do seem better,” Femi said, “Some of your cracks are completely gone.”
“Oh, really?” Power huffed, then she looked at her body, “Oh, it’s real. Do you see this?”
“Well, I pointed it out.”
“Right, sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“I understand. It’s okay.”
“Did you enjoy tonight? You definitely had more fun than me.”
“It turns out I did need it as well, and even better with your progress. Now, what else do you enjoy?”
“Ah, um, eh, uh,” Power stumbled through her words, “I don’t have much of interests.”
“Didn’t you say that you liked walking through the forests?”
“I mentioned that I can’t bear to even look at the nearby forest without deeply yearning for my lover.”
Femi sighed, “It was just a suggestion, not a plan. We have time. We can go through other options.”
“Fine,” Power said.
For the next month, Femi and Power considered other options for happiness such as cooking, crafting, singing, and dancing, and storytelling. Femi would tell stories about her family, her friends, her childhood, her education, and her patients as well as the folktales of her homeland. These stories sometimes brought Femi joy and sometimes they brought her homesickness. And sometimes that homesickness would be unbearable.
One day, the homesickness was too strong so Femi spent the day curled up on Power’s bed crying her heart out. Power worked hard to comfort her, making yummy foods and saying gentle encouraging words, even opening all the windows filling every part of the room in sunlight, but nothing worked. And when nothing worked, Power had to tell her own stories in the vaguest of ways. She told funny stories, sad stories, happy stories, and love stories. Some were made up and told badly, some were her own memories and were told beautifully. And it was always the latter that cheered Femi up more than the rest.
The next day, the homesickness subsided and Femi managed to pull herself together to resume her healer duties. “Thank you so much for yesterday,” she told Power as her patient began work on another blanket.
“You’re stuck here because of me, so I should help you with whatever I can,” Power said, “I’ll try to heal faster.”
“The best healing takes time, so just focus and celebrate on the progress we’ve made,” Femi responded.
“It’s just that while I’m getting better, it seems you’re getting worse with homesickness.”
“Oh, please don’t worry about that. The fact that you’re getting better is giving me some relief in this damn place.”
“It just . . . well, I just think, uh, I’ve been noticing that I tend to get better when we are doing stuff that either directly or indirectly helped you. L-like the garden thing and when you made that stew the first time and when you woke me up with your crying.”
“That is . . . an interesting theory, but I’m afraid coincidence is not causation,” Femi said hesitantly, “There could be other reasons. However, I’m ever so thankful that you always try to help me.”
“It’s the least I can do,” sighed Power. She stopped weaving the blanket. “I think crafts aren’t helping.”
“I’m finally realizing that too. Perhaps I was too hopeful. Well, at least we know something better now and so let’s brainstorm some ideas.”
“Ah, can I suggest something?”
“I eagerly wait.”
“We could go outside. Like, outside the tower.”
“That’s a surprisingly bold suggestion!”
“We need some fresh air that’s not from the garden. Perhaps we can venture to the forest? It is a lovely place and I know all its secrets.”
“That sounds wonderful! Okay, we should plan…”
“We can’t ask the maids again. They swore they wouldn’t help us again after our leisurely garden walk. No stew will ever change their minds, I’m sure.”
“Aye, we can’t put them in danger again. Those guards have been more suspicious and hostile towards us… How about…”
And so, they brainstormed the afternoon and evening away, weaving a thousand ideas that never bore sweet fruit. Femi went to bed disappointed but determined to ensure her patient’s progress. But Power stayed awake all night, wondering and wondering. When the moon reached the highest point in the sky, she began to sing, “Oh, my sibling, hear my voice, my begging song, and come to my aid and loneliness.”
Barely the last note had left her breath when the Being appeared before her with a colorful chaos noise and lights that should’ve woken Femi but didn’t. “Oh, Power, dear Power,” Thought cried as she hugged her sibling, “It has been nearly a hundred years! None of us has heard from you for so long!”
“Were you all that worried about me?” Power asked, shocked.
“We always have because you’re a walking disaster held together by bandages,” Thought tearfully chirped, “Every relationship you’d had since the beginning always ended in you hurt. I’m always afraid that you’d get hurt so much that you’ll never heal, and your recent silence made me believe it came true.” She noticed the cracks on Power’s body and stopped hugging her.
Power swallowed. “It did come true. For a while at least. But I’m all better now—thanks to my friend. She’s a doctor.”
“This is the first time you've had a friend!”
“Actually, she’s my second friend. My first friend is now my current lover, even though I wanted him to be my lover first… It’s quite an awkward story.”
“Where’s that lover?” Thought asked as she looked around the room for the spoken man, “Where’s that bastard that eagerly leaves his beloved in pain for his hunger?”
“Oh, don’t curse him, dear sibling. He’s away, doing stuff for his empire. He never lets me go on them because he’s so terrified of me being kidnapped or hurt!”
“Why should he worry about that? You’re able to ward off any attack without a scratch! That’s cowardice, I’d say.”
“None of my previous lovers have shown so much love and care for me as he does!”
“But he isn’t here now, caring for you and loving you!”
“He’s doing that to keep us together and I don’t want to leave him!”
“He’s—” Thought began but abruptly stopped. She took the biggest breath, and began, “Okay, I understand. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this alone.”
“All of us have a bad habit of not noticing each other until it’s too late,” Power solemnly responded, “I do miss you, dear sibling, and we can talk the night away, but I did not call you for chatter unfortunately. I need a favor.”
“A favor?” Thought asked with a bemused smirk, “You’re definitely experiencing your firsts in everything!”
“Yes, I know.”
“Why and what do you need me for?”
“I need to control and change the guards and members of this tower—”
“I don’t control and change human minds,” injected Thought with scary sternness, “I only nudge what’s already there and let them go their own way—and sometimes they change me.”
“I’m sorry for misinterpreting,” Power hurriedly apologized, “The guards won’t let Femi outside my room until she’s cured of my condition, but I can only get better when doing stuff outside this room. I want them to not see us when we leave this tower for a little stroll in the woods.”
Thought blinked then said, “I already nudged them all to ignore you and her for eight days.”
“Why eight days? I only need one day and one night.”
“I felt you needed more. Now, tell what you’ve have been doing and let me tell you some good stories I’ve been in…”
The two siblings talked until the moment Femi woke up. Once she and Power had dressed and ate breakfast, Power announced, “I have managed enough courage to demand the guards let us out of the tower for seven days! Hurry, pack everything we need!”
“Wait, how—!” Femi yelped, silently wondering about the sudden change in luck but smart enough to not ask questions until it was right. They quickly packed enough food, drink, and clothes for a week and sped out the door. When they encountered their first guard, they impulsively thought of excuses and escape plans, but none of the guards acknowledged their presence at all. It was the same reaction of the other guards and workers as they passed. Power sent a silent thanks to her sister. Femi mentally juggled both joy and worry.
The two opened the tower’s entrance doors and the wild wind blew away their worries. With childish glee they’d run towards the forest, their packs the only thing weighing them down on their flight.
For six nights and seven days, both Femi and Power explored and enjoyed the wonder and beauty and horror of the royal forest. There was loud laughter and terrifying tears and so many hugs that happened too frequently and were let go very reluctantly. Power was overflowing with joy while Femi was simply so overwhelmed with it that she felt she needed a few days of indoor boredom. She didn’t get that on the seventh day when the two were supposed to return to the tower when Power suddenly asked her if they could wander through the nearby town because she wanted to stay outside a bit more.
“We gotta go spend some time there,” insisted Power with a desperate whine, “There’s booths with all sorts of fun things and beautiful things and yummy food. There’s games and plays and musicians and fools! It’s so much fun—we gotta go!”
Femi, though extremely tired from the forest adventure, wanted to say no and return home but she didn’t want to return to the room and wanted to put in a little bit more healing progress in her patient before taking a long rest in bed so she brightly said, “Yes, let’s go.”
With a gentle tugging, Power led Femi to the town which was having a festival celebrating the Empire’s founding, and they spent the entire day there. Power had the most fun there while Femi was simply content seeing Power happy and healing even though she didn’t really enjoy the festivities there as she didn’t like how the whole things was just an overzealous celebration of the Emperor where all involved seemed to smile too much, too forcefully, and too paranoidly. It was unnerving and uncomfortable, so she just focused on Power’s sweet smiles. They finally returned to the tower at midnight, to Femi’s strangely ironic relief. Nevertheless, to both their surprise and joy, the two trips had filled and vanished all of Power’s cracks.
“You had a lot of fun, I think your smile is permanently fixed on your face,” Femi commented.
“Gods and spirits, I am unable to feel anything else!” Power shrieked as she hopped into the room, “Gods and spirits, we should do it again? Did you enjoy it?”
“I loved the forest. The whole adventure made me feel like I was a young girl again, exploring a world full of so many wondrous things!”
“Oh, and the festival! So many fun things there! Oh, I hope that made you see the empire in a much better light! What was your favorite part? Mine was the play…”
“I just liked the way you smiled,” Femi answered. Power noticed that she said it with a grimace.
A large and deep crack appeared in her eye and over her heart as she said with a sad whimper, “You hated it.”
“I thought I would like it, but I didn’t and I was tired,” Femi said.
“You hated it,” Power repeated, “I wanted to show you that this land is more than my room. I am so sorry for making it worse. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
“It’s alright! I should’ve said I wanted to rest first off, but you seemed so excited, and I didn’t want to ruin it. To make you feel better, I really enjoyed the food.”
But Power couldn’t hear Femi over her own frantic and desperate muttered apologies.
“Please, breathe, please calm down, it’s okay, I’m okay, you’re okay,” Femi gently said.
“I’m sorry for being inconsiderate, I’m sorry for being selfish, I’m sorry for being greedy.”
“No, no, no, you’re not selfish, it was just a mistake, a misunderstanding, but we learn from this so won’t be foolish again.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Femi waited until Power ran out of apologies before giving her words.
“Now, listen carefully. We both made mistakes, we feel terrible for them, but we cannot change them, but it was a moment to learn. We haven’t crossed any lines then and we are better for it.”
“B-but,” Power whimpered, “I made you feel horrible and you must hate you for it.”
“I was annoyed at the situation and the decisions leading up to it, but I don’t hate you because of it. That’s the thing with all relationships—sometimes there must be a compromise between and it must be an equal compromise with honest words, respect, and trust.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better, even when I don’t deserve it,” Power asked.
“It’s supposed to make you do better,” Femi held Power’s hand in a loving way with bright and wise eyes, “We’re human, it’s our nature to make mistakes and to do better from them.”
“You know a lot on people,” Power commented.
“It’s another symptom of being a doctor,” Femi shrugged with a grin.
“I think it’s a symptom of being a great healer,” Power suggested.
Femi erupted into sweet laughter and Power had no choice but to fall into it too.
And so, the two spent the following week just relaxing and not doing anything either drastic, energetic, or exciting. They just basked in the sunlight bleeding into the room. Sometimes they would talk about random things and random thoughts that would cause them to either laugh, speculate, cry, swear, or just wonder. Sometimes they would just be silent and enjoy the mundanity. By the end of the month, marking an entire year since Femi’s arrival, Power’s last crack vanished without a trace. They barely noticed until the servants commented on how beautiful Power’s uncracked face was.
Not believing their words, Power looked at a nearby mirror and was stunned by her uncracked reflection. Femi said, “You look like happiness.”
“Thank you.”
“Do you want to tell the guards? Of course, we’d have to dress you in men’s clothing if you want to do it in person but if you aren’t ready for that, I could have the servants do it and I can convince them without having them look at you.”
“No, I’ll do it myself,” said Power in a daze, “I just need some time.”
And so, Femi and the servants left Power to stare at her reflection until evening, when Power dressed herself in her male clothing and informed the guards of her better condition. The guards sent a messenger to the emperor immediately, but he took two months to reach the ruler and to return with the message that the Emperor would arrive to the tower within a month.
Power was overjoyed that her lover was coming back, so Femi had to distract her from her yearning. Fortunately, with Power’s better health, the guards allowed them to venture outside Power’s room, so the two spent their days wandering through the tower as well as the neighboring forest and town. They had tea parties in the garden, strolls through the forest, and visits in the town. The two had so much fun together that Femi would sometimes forget she was supposed to distract Power and Power would sometimes forget she was waiting for someone to come back.
On the day the Emperor arrived at the tower, Power was able to switch to her male form (with some sorrow) and wore the most wonderful clothes and jewels. To relieve his overflowing excitement and impatience, he paced the entire entrance hall until the rich carpet and wooden floors had completely lost their luster and shine. When the Emperor and his entourage came in, Power did not hesitate to leap onto him and give him the biggest embrace. He wanted to kiss him, but he instinctively held himself back because he didn’t want to ruin it by making the Emperor mad. Power didn’t see the vile look the Emperor gave Femi, so full of spite and insult at the doctor who trembled but refused to look away.
The Emperor asked Femi in a regal order, “Doctor, you have cured my nephew. Tell me, what has caused that horrible deformity so we can prevent it from bothering our royal affairs again?”
Femi kept her voice level. “The cracks were of heartache, your Majesty. They were formed because your nephew had placed his entire happiness being so heavily contained upon his lover, someone who rarely visits and cares for him. I simply reminded your nephew that happiness does not rely on one person alone. I simply showed him how there is joy in the small humble things of everyday life. He simply remembered there is more to life and love than one person.”
The Emperor continued to scowl at Femi as he proclaimed, “As payment for your services, the Great Empire shall not invade your country as long as I live. My loyal guards and my best soldiers shall escort you to your homeland but for the night you shall be treated with the finest of food and softest of sheets!”
He ordered the standby guards to escort Femi to the royal guest chambers. That order brought Power back from reality. “She can stay in my room, like we’ve always had,” Power spoke, “She’s my dearest friend. Can’t I just spend one more night together with her before we say goodbye?” Femi let out a small happy gasp and stopped trembling.
Then the Emperor whispered into Power’s ear, “How can you say that when your lover worried and missed you so much? Do you know how much pain your absence has caused? Do you know how much those words scorn my tears and my scars? I’ve been doing everything for you, for us—just so you can abandon me for this herb witch?! Fortunately, I forgive you, my dear, for I have long ago realized my mistakes and am willing to amend them tonight.”
Power swallowed and nodded, unsure of what emotion his heart was frantically beating on. He let go of the Emperor and turned towards Femi, but the Emperor grabbed his shoulders and dragged him to his room. Femi tried to follow them, but the guards dragged Femi towards the guest room.
Femi did not feel at ease in the lavish guest room. The vibrant colors of the silky bed and the glimmer of the golden furniture could not distract her heart from worrying. All the thoughts she had as she paced the room were of Power and his laugh and his smile and the Emperor’s too strong grip on his shoulders. She tried multiple times to escape, first with various excuses of getting her luggage in Power’s room but the guards simply told her that they would retrieve her things even when time proved their insincere lies. Then she tried escaping by climbing out the window and scaling the tower but was quickly discovered by another set of guards. She tried sneaking through the servants’ door, but guards wandering by the laundry room seized her. Tired of her, the guards locked Femi in her room, only unlocking it when they gave her food which they offered to her with unusual kindness.
“Try the meat, it is good!” urged one.
“I am sorry, but I cannot eat meat. I can only eat vegetables!” Femi said with a panicked grin.
“Try the greens, they are rich in taste!” urged the other guard.
“I am sorry, but I cannot eat those greens. I am allergic to them!” Femi said with her fist clutching a fork.
“Try the wine, it is a delight!” urged another.
“I am sorry, but I cannot drink alcohol. It is against my profession!” Femi said with a voice too high.
Again and again the guards kept urging her to eat the food, but she kept giving excuse after excuse until they became impatient and threw the food into the fire. The guards slammed and locked the door, jeering that Femi will starve if she doesn’t accept their tokens. She didn’t say anything. She waited by the door, still clenching the fork. Logic coldly told her there was nothing else she could do but wait for morning. But her heart kept thinking, worrying. Femi’s worries kept her all the way up to midnight and that’s when she furiously pulled the locked door handle just as an old woman with ancient winkles and hair bright and light like sunlight opened it. The woman only told Femi one thing before vanishing into the air.
“Go.”
Femi ran through the hallways and stairs of the tower, always hiding in the safety of shadows and dark shadows to avoid the gaze of the guards. It took too long for her to reach the servant door to Power’s room. She cautiously entered the dark room and panicked when she didn’t see anyone until a sheet moved on the bed. Against her instincts, she headed towards the bed.
On the bed lay Power, his bare body covered with bruises and his wrists tied tightly to the bed posts. His eyes were open, but he wasn’t conscious of the world. Femi cut his binds and wanted to hold him but knew well enough to not touch him without permission, so she gently called him.
He didn’t want to respond to her; he just didn’t want to exist anymore, but she kept calling him in a voice so kind, so safe, on the brink of tears. He only whimpered, “What?”
“I need to treat your wounds,” Femi softly cried, “Can I please wrap you in my cloak and escort you to the bathroom.” Power simply nodded with no expression. The two friends held each other’s hands so tightly.
Once in the bathroom, Femi started to fill the bathtub with herbs and warm water. Power asked, “Why are you doing that? I thought you must apply herbs to the wound first.”
“You can do that,” she answered, “But sometimes a bath helps to make it feel better.”
“It can’t fix anything.”
“Sometimes it is the best one can do.” When the bath was ready, Power submerged himself deep in the tub with only his eyes floating above his rippling reflection on the water and Femi treated his wounds. There was silence between them that was frequently broken by Femi asking for permission if she could touch certain sections on Power’s body or giving warnings of upcoming pains.
Suddenly, in a miserable whimper, Power asked, “What did I do wrong?”
“You tried your best and hardest,” Femi answered, “But some people do not think those are enough. Those people do not deserve you nor your love.”
“But I love him so much but it isn’t enough, it’s never enough,” he continued as agonizing tears flowed, “He does all this stuff for me and I can’t do anything about it and whatever I do isn’t enough. He wants me only for him because that’s WHERE my happiness is—he told me this!”
“Happiness mustn’t center around one person—”
“You were wrong, you were always wrong because that’s not what he said! He’s always right! I-I deserved this.”
“No you don’t!”
“I do, I do, I do. I am too selfish, too cruel, too undeserving of him,” the cracks formed under his tear tracks, “I don’t deserve him after what I've done. I did everything wrong, but he gives me forgiveness when he shouldn’t. He told me that I shouldn’t have been friendly with you. I belong to him. I don’t deserve you. I’m so sorry, but—”
“No, you are so kind, so passionate, and so beautiful. You deserve the sun and the rain, long walks in the forests and dances in the gardens! You deserve the festivals, and all the food and drinks that make you explode and laugh! You deserve beautiful flowers in your hands and hair because you are so precious and crucial to everything life has to offer. You deserve to laugh, you deserve to cry, you deserve love in all its forms!”
Power couldn’t say anything because he didn’t believe Femi’s words but his heart still broke. Femi had a million more things to say but all that came out was uncontrollable sobbing.
Once every wound was treated, Power got up and dressed himself, but he wouldn’t go back to his room. “Take me away from here,” he said to which Femi replied, “I will.”
Together, hands still clenched tightly as if they were dying, the two friends left the bathroom and went to Femi’s room. Femi offered to sleep on the floor, but Power begged her to sleep near him on the bed. However, while he felt comforted by her presence, there were various instances throughout the night where the other presence scared him into wails which Femi frequently had to calm down. They didn’t sleep well. The morning brought them a barrage of shouting guards rushing through the guest room’s shattered door, followed by the Emperor carrying a rageful expression.
“So, this is how you repay my generosity?” growled the Emperor, “My tower gave you food and shelter but instead of being gracious, you seduced and poisoned my nephew for your own selfish reasons! You foul wench—you do not deserve my mercy at all! Take her!”
The guards dutifully rushed at Femi but to their surprise, Power effortlessly overthrew each one with only a faint touch and a shadow. Weapons rusted before they could cross her shadow. Limbs and bones broke before they could touch her flesh. No matter how strong or how many there were, the guards couldn’t even touch Femi. It wasn’t until the Emperor reached Power and simply grabbed him. Femi was swarmed with guards and the Emperor dragged Power to his room where he yelled cruel words and cruel curses and foul accusations at Power as he cried and trembled. When the Emperor finally left with the promise of more “redemption” from Power, the Being could only stand alone in his royal cell. He couldn’t stay here but he was too afraid to move because that would make the Emperor madder. He wished it would stop, all of it. Then his heart heard Femi’s pain.
He didn’t think. He opened the door and flung himself into a run. Each of his footsteps made the tower’s stones crumble; forced the rich carpets and tapestries unravel and tangle into knots; compelled the golden treasures and vast foodstuffs to rust and rot.
Power had switched in their neither form when they reached the dungeons, where Femi’s screams echoed the loudest. Their arm trembled as they ripped the door off its hinges. There Femi lay on the dirt, body violated by the swarm of sneering guards, her heartbeats slow in their sad march towards Death’s merciful embrace.
Power didn’t hesitate to kill all the guards swiftly, though they cursed themself for not torturing them all before their ends. But that didn’t matter because Femi was hurt really badly and Power needed to help her, so they gathered Femi in their arms and sprinted out of the crumpling tower.
The Emperor was standing in front of the entrance, full of arrogance and vice, before Power. “Oh, my foolish, dumb lover,” he called at the two wounded figures, “Put the little whore down. My soldiers have worked hard these past few months with these rebellions that your whines caused. Don’t rob them of their prize and don’t infuriate me further; I might not have enough forgiveness and love left for you. Do you want to selfishly abandon me for that filth? After all I’ve done for you? For us? How can you torture this kind king? How can you be so cruel to me?”
Power only paused for a moment to gather their courage because a small yet controlling part of them still loved the Emperor, still feared the Emperor, still obeyed the Emperor. But it was only for a moment.
Power again ran and only glared at the Emperor, but the cruel man heard the Being’s reminder and promise well enough: that he is still human, a being so easily devoured by disease and age; that his great empire will crumble under blooming revolutions lead by bright and good people; that his name and his titles will not be echoed through the winds and trees and human memory; that the only immortality his soul shall receive is oblivion.
And the promise was fulfilled. Do you ever know what the name of the Emperor and his Empire was, or what good they ever did in their time in this world?
Despite Power’s range of skills, their mind was too rattled and hurt and confused to do any healing for Femi. So Power rushed towards the Great Library, the home of Thought’s lover Knowledge. Miracle and Thought were already waiting for them there and Power handed Femi to them without a word because it wasn’t necessary; the two Beings always knew what to do and what had happened to them.
As Femi was treated by the two Beings, Power let loose tears that flowed for days. While Femi slept and healed in Knowledge’s library, Power stayed by her bedside. Power’s other siblings would come by to talk with her, and they would occasionally talk to them but most of the time Power would just listen to their stories and words numbly. It helped distract them from the feelings and thoughts for a while until Femi woke a few weeks later. After Power explained everything—their Beinghood, and their romance and promises to the Emperor—and apologized for what happened, she waited for Femi to respond and to react, but she only stayed silent and numb.
Power immediately used all of Femi’s mental treatments on her—taking her outside to walk and wander through gardens and forests, devising and making crafts of paint and threads, singing songs old and made-up, and telling her stories both fictional and real—which had varying levels of success. Sometimes a warm light would flare in Femi’s eyes, and she would make a small smile. Sometimes she would be imprisoned in memories and nightmares. Occasionally, in desperation and in impatience, Power would rampage through Knowledge’s bookshelves in hopes of finding better methods and techniques to heal Femi’s heart—though these too would have the same results as the previous methods.
One night when Thought visited, Power lashed out on their sibling. “You could’ve gotten her out at any time! He wouldn’t have touched her! He wouldn’t have hurt her. You could’ve saved us!”
Thought was gentle in her response, “There were many times I tried. I tried to break that tower and save you and her, but your love for him created a barrier so strong to form a crack. When you called out to me that night, I was only able to use a silver of my power on the guards, but I couldn’t touch the mind of that man.”
“So it’s my fault, it’s always my fault!” cried Power.
“No,” Thought firmly said, “Love tends to make the wise into fools. It is not your fault to fall and be in love—your support, faithfulness, and passion are all the reasons that all relationships based on love are so beautiful and precious. That man is nothing but a traitor to you. He poisoned every sweetness of love—called bruises and insults kisses, demanded everything of you and returned nothing. He should be the one carrying this guilt—not you. He had many chances to realize and repent but refused each time because he cares more about his wants than your needs. He should be in pain and in shame . . . not you.”
“But Femi’s still hurt! I put her through so much misery and pain! If I had left that man…”
“Even we know that there is no way of changing the past. All we can do is wait and just continue with life.”
“How can anyone get on after what she went through?”
“There have been ones in the same situation as her, some even worse—it is the mere simple presence of someone who cares and loves them that can lessen the hurt. Not every wound can be healed by us, but she needs your support,” Knowledge said as she appeared beside Thought, “She needs loved ones nearby, always. Sometimes it may not feel like it but small acts can carry enough.”
Her sibling’s lover’s words reminded Power of something. She wasted no time rushing towards Femi, who was staring through the biggest window in the library, mind adrift. Power gently grabbed both of Femi’s hands and knelt before you.
“I am the Being of Power,” she began, “And I love you so much, Femi. I love your laugh and smile. I love your defiance and persistence as you help people to be their best selves—even a foolish person like me. I love your gentleness towards fragile things and your caring self. By confessing my love to you, I am able to give you boundless power to heal yourself. I only beg for the simplest of things: You smile for yourself, you enjoying your favorite foods and flowers, you laughing at good and bad jokes, you treating yourself kind, you taking pride in your knowledge and skills as a healer, you being alive to see all the sunsets and sunrises and to hear all the songs and stories of the world. Please, loving yourself is all that I ask for.”
Femi was silent for some time. Power’s heart couldn’t stop panicking. Then she wrote on Power’s palm: “You do the same as well.”
Femi and Power did get better with time and support from their loved ones. For some years, they lived with Femi’s family. For some years, they’d traveled around the world, meeting so many wonderful people and learning weird things about each land. They shared laughter and tears together, curses and blessings together, boredom and danger toget her, and memories and dreams together. Whenever their pain became too much, they simply held each other.
Those who prized friendships said that Femi and Power lived as the closest of friends; romantics say that Femi and Power spent their lives as lovers. Whatever they say, Power was there for Femi for the rest of her life. On the day Femi died, Power offered her to let her become a Being like themself but Femi simply refused, saying that she would rather choose a human end. And Power calmly accepted her wish but after her soul-light became a star, they asked Death’s lover Life to turn Femi’s body into a special flower that only the hurting can see and be healed by.
In the centuries ever since then, Power became very particular about their suitors, carefully observing their actions and their words towards others, both to strangers and to those closest to them, before confessing their love to said suitor. Sometimes, Power gave their love to the most deserving person and the world became a better place for it. Sometimes, Power would realize too late of their lover’s true face and the world received horrible scars.
Because of this, it may seem like the world and its people are merciless and cruel beyond comprehension, but for every bad person and thing you encounter there is always a good person who will care and love and help you no matter what.
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